56021--deep in my heart there's a house that can hold almost all of you

[zyzyly]

I went to see the therapist after taking a month off for the holidays. The first thing I told her was that I thought I would take some more time off, since I didn't have any pressing issues to work on. She agreed and asked what I wanted to talk about. I launched into a story about a patient I talked to the other evening, while waiting for one of my students to do something. She was in her 40's, and had already had all sorts of medical issues befall her. Last January her 14 year-old son was killed by an impaired driver. Shortly after that she was diagnosed with cancer. She had been in the hospital for the past three weeks and wanted to go home. She couldn't, because she was unable to eat, and the insurance wouldn't cover home IV nutrition.

I told the therapist that it reminded me of the biblical story of Job. Job was the victim of a bet between God and the Devil. One time I had to preach on that story, and I said that even though God gave a new family and stuff to Job, it wasn't like he had his old family back. There was a hole that would never be filled.

I don't think it was particularly effective preaching, but it told the truth.

I told my therapist about the boxes under my desk. She suggested that maybe it was time to open them and see what was inside. "Maybe make it a photo project," she added. She's an art therapist, so understands the significance of capturing what you're feeling.


There are two boxes under my desk. On one is written, "open Mar 07". Neither have been opened since march of 2005. Sounds like a project.

I can't just leave you with a picture of a box, so here's something from Yosemite.


It's a nice shot, but doesn't really tell you much about what I am thinking.

Comments

[duccio.livejournal.com]

I bought this book I found one time called Andy Warhol's Time Capsule 21. The artist started keeping a box next to his desk and threw whatever he wanted to keep in the box that he thought was interesting. There are letters, postcards, photos, small art works, gallery notices, old shoes, all kinds of stuff. When it was full he would seal it up and send it to the warehouse. There were eventually over 600 of these time capsules.

In 2004, the Warhol Museum opened and documented #21 in book form.

Maybe when you open these boxes, you could do something similar and produce one of those books where you download the software and then send out the digitized work to a place that can produce a book. I think Deborah did something like this. Once you open these boxes, you maybe will just seal them up again after looking. It might make everything closer to you if it was in book form, and less painful to visit again in the future if it were just that much more removed and on a shelf as a two volume time capsule. You could annotate it with recollections / confide in it and write in your present as time moves on.
http://www.warhol.org/collection/archives/

beautiful yosemite picture.

[zyzyly.livejournal.com]

I have a number of boxes of stuff from different times in my life. The most interesting one is from my time in the Military. Many of the items inside have some sort of emotional significance--I heard someone once describe it as emotional souvenirs.

I will check out Andy Warhol's #21--I'll bet it is interesting.