Ahoy there!

As you all know, tomorrow is "talk like a pirate" day, which happens to be one of my favorite days of the year. I talk like a pirate other times during the year, but it's like singing Christmas carols in July--just not the same.

When I was in the third grade, I played Captain Kidd in a school play. To cast the part, they lined us all up against the wall by size and picked the smallest kid--me. Interestingly enough, the play wasn't about pirates. It was about Jack and the Beanstalk. I have no idea where the pirate thing fits in to that. I had a wooden sword and got to wear an eye patch. It was my finest theatrical moment. I even got to sing:

"Oh, I'm the terrible Captain Kidd,
upon the seas I roam.
I throw the sailors overboard,
and make them walk back home!"

(  It was in all the papers! )

Anyway, as fate would have it, I was invited to go deep-sea fishing tomorrow. I really didn't want to go--I'm not really the sportsman type. So I was trying to come up with an excuse to get out of it, and suddenly it hit me. What better place is there to spend "talk like a pirate day" than on the high seas? I can just see the other fishermen casting looks of longing at my puffy shirt.

Arggghhh, where's me stinkin' eye patch, matey?