zyzyly

What a breathtaking book Saint Death’s Daughter is. Truly magnificent in all respects: its exciting, imaginative story, its absorbing, immersive worldbuilding, its soaring writing, and its sharp, compassionate observations about human nature. I loved it completely.

It’s been a long time since I walked into a book and lost myself so entirely in it, so much so that I wanted to bring pieces of it back with me into this world. Can we have sothaín meditations, please? Can we have these twelve gods? … But just certain select pieces! Because the other thing about the world of Saint Death’s Daughter is that it’s cheerfully vicious and merciless—not always and everywhere by any means—but plenty enough. Take the fact that our protagonist, Miscellaneous (Lanie) Stones, comes from a family of assassins and torturers. And there are similar people in high places throughout the story. But the folks Lanie’s drawn to are nothing like that at all. We’re more than our family history, and we can make different choices—that’s the grounding hum that vibrates through the story. Lanie sets herself to make amends for the harm her family’s done: tries, fails, and tries again, all while growing into a powerful necromancer with a deep devotion to Doédenna, Saint Death.

( There's so much! This is just scratching the surface )

So those are some of my reasons for loving Saint Death’s Daughter. It’s doing so much that it’s impossible to cover it all in a review. Lanie eventually learns to speak with more than one voice at once, with a surface voice and a deeper one (kind of like throat singing, where you sing more than one note at the same time, only Lanie’s deeper voice isn’t audible in the usual way of things). The novel is like this too: it’s speaking in a surface voice and in many other voices as well. It’s broadcasting on many frequencies; you can hear many, many things.

mallorys_camera

Difficult day yesterday & insomnia at night.

I am incredibly isolated here, having absolutely no one to hang out with or do the rough-&-tumble cosmic littermate thing with. But I've been isolated for weeks now without it making the slightest dent in my general bonhomie.

No, I'm thinking this depression has to do with the declining daylight. Hello Seasonal Affective Disorder, my old friend.

Managing SAD is gonna be a challenge this year.

For the past four or five years, I've managed it by staying absolutely blitzed on cannabis for three months, but I can't really do that this year on account of I've been hired by IM Schlock to do taxes, and so must maintain a clear brain.

###

I didn't exercise yesterday. Maybe that was part of the depression.

###

Did manage to write a 1,000 words on the Work in Progress.

Didn't feel connected to what I wrote at all, which means I'm kind of like an airplane pilot flying by instrumental controls rather than by sight. At this point, I just have to trust that craft will get me through it: I am very good with words, and that excellence is there whether I'm emotionally tapped into it or not.

Neal & Grazia have finished meeting. Neal has been properly humiliated for his sexual boastfulness. There is some other moderately sexually explicit stuff.

In the final Chapter 2 coda, we explore the Neal/Grazia friendship. The coda ends with a scene in which Grazia gives Neal a backrub, looks at his naked back, wonders, Should I pounce? And decides, Nah...

Chapter 3 will be Grazia working at the hospital during COVID. I don't have the foggiest idea what happens except it starts with Grazia scoring N95 Respirator masks from a crack cocaine dealer at 4 o'clock in the morning. At some point, Grazia has to have a complete psychological breakdown, and then she has to have some kind of spiritual awakening & recover. Of course, it is actually Neal who rescues Grazia from her psychological breakdown, but she doesn't realize this. The reader must, though.

###

Anyway, apart from Work in Progress, it's all a bunch of Remuneration and tax class slog. Which I must commence with right now.

susandennis

As soon as I left the vet's office, I remembered questions I wish I had asked. So I emailed them. I just heard back. I wanted to know what to expect. I know what the symptoms of trouble look like and so far, there are none. But, how long of that til we declare victory.

She said: Unfortunately sometimes objects can stick around for months in the GI tract without causing a problem, and then one day they do... I am hopeful this is not the case. The object was small enough and pliable enough that I am hopeful it will pass through on its own without causing a problem. Please just keep an eye out for vomiting, inappetence, lethargy or signs of fever at home.

So... poop patrol.

He's been conked out all afternoon - glued to my thigh here on the couch. If I get up, he gets up and staggers around after me. I tried not to laugh too hard. But now, 6:30, he's staggering less and is still here glued to my thigh but kind of dozing instead of unconscious. He asked for and got a decent amount of dinner.

He usually only visits the litter box once a day - in the mornings.

I'd love this to be simple but I doubt it will be. I just hope he shows symptoms before the weekend so we can avoid the emergency vet. I don't like them and they are a bitch to get to. And they are about twice the price.

I did have a good visit with Christian but he didn't have any good poop. Everything is, apparently same old same old. He did say that the neighborhood has seen more than a few excellent upgrades and it was a much more pleasant place lately.

I also found out today that I can get a pizza cooked to go in our little Bistro here at Timber Ridge. I know I could get a raw one but I never thought about it enough to empty out my oven and turn the power on. BUT turns out, they have a little pizza oven right there. It was 1:30 by the time I got home today and got Biggie settled. I was really tired and really hungry. So I got one and had it cooked and it was perfection. Just the right size - and delicious. $12. So good.

The Mariner game just started and we are in the bottom of the 1st inning and the Mariners just hit 3 home runs. If they win tonight or any one of the next 4 games, they win their division which they have only done 3 times before and the last was 24 years ago. Quite exciting.

fflo

Before I continue with White People Week, I reckon I oughta cop to my own whiteness. While I'm poking some fun at extra-whiteness and the creepiness of its hegemonic presumptive regularity or standardness and, like, blandness and bizarreness and such, I'm doing that from a place of what we used to call skin privilege, and aiming to hone my progress as a race traitor, both as a traitor to "my" race and as a traitor to the whole cultural construct of race(s), along with some of what's such a deeply felt objection to class, running through all my days, that it feels like I'm shouting it all the time. Upper class whiteness is especially repugnant.

So, let's see,... let's go lite with the white today, and I won't put it behind a cut.

susandennis

I am remembering all the previous times biggie swallowed forbidden shit. All the horrible hours at the regular vet, at the emergency vet. Not knowing what was happening or would happen. I am waiting again. (Typing this on my phone, which isn't as horrible as I thought.}

This time is very different. Much less frightening and frustrating. At lot of that counts from all those episodes of Critter Fixers. They gave me a clear picture of what happens when the very tech takes your car and leaves the room. (Also this room has a couch! I'm guessing it's where a lot of cat owners say goodbye to their pets.)

They took an X-ray and couldn't find the piece. But the did discover his big breakfast. She (the vet) recommended they induce vomiting and hope we find it. I said fine so that's what's happening. If they find it, YEAH! If not...

---------------

Ok, they were able to empty his stomach contents and no finding. So I brought him home and we wait. He's so drugged up now. They gave him a shot to vomit and then one to stop and then one to make him feel better, then a bunch of fluids and he's zonked. He did demand some food and ate. He was in the litter box for a long time (I think he fell asleep) but no pee or poop. Now he's out cold on top of my jacket that I tossed on the kitchen island. And the waiting begins.

ranunculus

I love to teach.
My current horseback riding student is lovely and I know I'm making a big difference in her horse handling/riding ability. One of her major complaints is that her horse Dollar walks at a snail's pace. When she mounted up we talked about her position in the saddle. She was slouched back with much of her weight in the back of the saddle "riding on her pockets", as she was taught. Her position was telling Dollar to stop, then she would kick him to ask him to go. The instant she moved her weight forward, onto her thighs instead of her butt, the horse moved forward at twice the speed. Not only that, he moved off at an even faster walk when she asked him to. Sitting up (in balance) is also way safer.
Lisa has homework though. Dollar is a very laid back gelding who has been allowed to ignore human commands. Obviously he thinks he is higher in the pecking order than humans. I was very aggressive with him, and got some nice brisk responses. As I said to Lisa "the lead mare would never allow him to drag his feet, she would lay into him and remove hair from his hide for such a slow response." I am not suggesting such a drastic move, but Lisa needs to be far more aggressive and less tolerant than she has been. The more I demanded, the quicker he moved. The faster he moved, the more focused he became. Horses move focus to the lead animal, human or horse. They feel safe with the lead animal. Dollar kept trying to follow me around in the arena because being next to the dominant animal is the safe place to be. He is going to be a great horse for Lisa once they get this sorted. Their next challenge is for him to learn that he will -always- get a release for the right answer. Dollar will be so, so happy when communications are better. For the past number of years he's just been hauled around, pulled on and given contradictory signals. I'm always in awe of the tolerance of horses like Dollar who just keep trying to please their humans even when the humans put them in impossible, often painful situations.

maju

I slept really well last night, which was just as well because today has been busy and somewhat emotionally taxing. I had a flu shot fairly early, but even before that I did some clearing out. When I got back I did more, almost emptying the hallway closet (which had all kinds of things right at the back that I had had no idea about) as well as the small desk in which S and I kept previous tax returns. The tax returns will be moved with me, but most of the stuff from the hallway closet is being tossed or donated to Goodwill. I've been collecting stuff for Goodwill for a while, and today was the day when I took it all to the shop. At the same time I took five boxes of books to Friends of the Library. I've got three more boxes of books to go, but I couldn't fit them in the boot so I left them for another day.

I've been getting notices from the post office about my mail box contract expiring, so on my way to Goodwill I went to the post office to talk to the post mistress about what to do about this, since I only need it for about another month. There was also the fact that the contract was still in S's name and I wasn't sure what would happen about that. I took the death certificate and showed it to the post mistress but she didn't seem very concerned, and just glanced at it. The upshot was that she told me that if I don't pay she would change the lock on the box on 11th October (apparently the day the contract ends) but that I could continue to collect mail from the post office (over the counter) for another few weeks until I leave - at no charge. She said she wasn't really supposed to do that, but because it was such a short time it would be fine. I was very grateful for her kindness.

The more emotionally taxing part of the day was booking a moving company. Yesterday I submitted a request for some quotes via Consumer Affairs, and received two emails in reply. I tried to ring one of the companies but there was no reply and although I left a message, they haven't rung back. The other company rep called me on the home phone because that was the number I put on the request for quotes, but I didn't hear it ringing. He also emailed me and asked me to give him a call, so I did but again, had to leave a message. Then, just as I was driving up the street on my way out, he called back, so I stopped by the side of the road to talk to him. (It was lucky he rang just then, before I got onto a busy road where stopping wouldn't have been so easy or safe.) In the end, I accepted his quote since the other company hadn't bothered to call back, and booked the move for 29th October. I decided not to use a POD; I decided to go with a company who will move my stuff and store it at the other end for a few weeks until I need it, if necessary. They will also pack the kitchen, the TV, and my few pictures, but I'll pack everything else, which is mostly clothes and sewing fabrics or knitting/crocheting yarn.

Now I'm officially done for the day because my brain has turned to mush.

mallorys_camera

But I didn't work on the Work In Progress yesterday.

Instead, I read around 200 pages of The Hallmarked Man (JK Rowling writing in drag as "Robert Galbraith").

And I felt guilty!

Had I spent the afternoon simultaneously shooting smack, embezzling $10 million from Amnesty International, & fucking the entire basketball team at Wallkill Middle School, I don't think I could have felt more guilty.

So weird how after a lifetime of moral ambiguity and anomie, I've metamorphosed into Marcus Aurelius in my advancing years.

###

~~Galbraith~~—Okay, take off that mustache, JK!—Rowling is not a great writer. I only made it through Harry Potter because RTT—now a man of nearly 31!—demanded it as bedtime reading. The Harry Potter movies made me appreciate the impressive scope of Rowling's imagination, but I never got that from her prose because her prose, frankly, bored me. It is very subject->verb->object.

The Cormoran Strike novels, though, are far better written than the Harry Potter novels. And the world-building is just as immersive. The immersion is not into magic but into a highly stylized London where everybody's weird regional accents must be phonetically transliterated: Ah want tae and Ah’ve got people aftae me and an’ you don’t wanna start fuckin’ wiv the geezer ’oo put out the ’it, awright?

Rowling is worse than Dickens, D.H. Lawrence, & Margaret Mitchell in this regard. (For how many years after I read Gone With the Wind at age 9, did I search dictionaries for the action verb to gwine?) I much prefer the Thomas Hardy method of rendering dialect in misspellings, colloquialisms, and archaic word forms.

(To get around this, I've started listening to the audiobook while I'm reading the book. Robert Glenister is a truly fabulous reader.)

Also, it is actually inadviseable to read more than 50 pages of any Cormoran Strike book in one sitting because there are just so many minor characters to remember, and one keeps losing track of whether they are important to the immediate plot or part of the endlessly expanding & permutating Cormoran Strike backstory.

Cormoran himself is an interesting character. But his foil & love interest, the girl detective Robin, is not. Robin is a blank hole on the page into which words like "plucky", "resilient", "resourceful", are poured like cement. Robin is bor-rr-ing.

The Hallmarked Man is the eighth novel in the Cormoran Strike series, and at this point, any mystery plot is entirely subsidiary to the will they/won't they question, as in When will Cormoran & Robin dew-ww-wwww it, and will Rowling describe it on the page?

Does this make The Hallmarked Man a romance novel maquerading as a mystery-slash-procedural? Or a mystery-slash-procedural cross-dressing as a romance novel?

Hard to say.

I do wonder what male readers make of Cormoran's perpetual mooniness. I don't think men fall in love like that. Though I'm not a man, so what do I know?

ranunculus

Got my Covid shot day before yesterday and spent most of yesterday asleep. Arm is still a little sore. Next week is the flu shot. Hopefully that won't be as big a reaction.
M is back from Alaska, which is nice.
The electrical for the shop is finally done.
Still no one signed up for my event in 2.5 weeks. Sigh. Maybe cancel?
The garden has a very fall like look. It is still producing, but has slowed way down. Cucumbers and tomatoes are still doing fine, but the okra is about done.
I'm off to teach a lesson in a few minutes. Looking forward to it.

susandennis

It's been about 22 months since Biggie's last surgery because he ate a plastic thing. Looks like we may see the end of that record. Between 5 and 6 this morning he ate half a nose plug. At least this time I know exactly what and exactly when and it's not the day before a long weekend and I have a vet who did the surgery last time and I have the money for the vet bill. This is what I sent the vet this morning.

Biggie's had his breakfast and is lounging on the sofa ignoring my side eye. The vet doesn't even open for another 30 minutes. I did thoroughly scoop out the litter box and made sure the cameras that monitor it are working. I'd dearly love it if he would just poop the thing out. But, I doubt that's going to be the case.

Meanwhile. My friend and designer, Christian, is in town this morning to drop off his car at the fix it place. We are meeting for coffee at 9. I haven't seen him in ages. It will be fun to catch up on what's happening back at the old condo.

The Mariners clinched a seat in the playoffs last night and still have 4 games to go. I think that's the earliest they've ever done that ever. They still have a chance to win their division. Very cool.

Guess I'd better get dressed and dig out Biggie's carrier.

EDIT: Vet says bring him in at 11:50.

summersgate

My DnD character. A young halfling. I enjoy thinking about him playing his ocarina while resting against a tree in the forest; being brave and quick on his feet, darting into battle - snick, snick.

Today we meet Kathy's friend Priscilla for lunch. Another meal at the Thai Palace. I finished the puzzle I was working on (Johnny helped me) and last night Kathy and I started a new one.

I've discovered shampoo bars and am excited for another way to stop making so much plastic waste. The first one I tried is from earthling company - Chloe recommended - very expensive, but very good. I've found another couple brands I want to try that are more affordable. I hate it every time I get done with a plastic bottle. Even though they go in the recycling it seems wasteful. I've started using detergent pods that come in bags for clothes washing and feel good about that. Now if I could just find scoopable cat litter in bags I wouldn't have all those plastic jugs to dispose of. Correction! Just checked Amazon and they have it!

fflo

This one's not terribly upsetting, but I'll put it( behind this cut. )

And White People Week continues here on PotD.

summersgate

Pool Shadows . I went swimming in the afternoon. Tried to remember how the moving lights and shadows on the bottom of the pool were.

After we dropped Johnny off at the airport this morning we stopped at Robinson Preserve and I got this pic of the sun (covered by clouds on the right) and a sundog on the left.

Johnny and Kathy. We walked around the Palma Sola Gardens last evening after we had dinner at the Thai Palace and I took this picture. Both Kathy and Johnny share the same birthday and the same anniversary date. Kindred spirits.

conuly

What difference, if any, is there between telling somebody “stop” and “time-out”?

mallorys_camera

Someone I kinda, sorta, vaguely know was mauled to death a couple of days ago by one of his own tigers.

Ryan Easley:

Very long-term readers may remember I spent a good chunk of 2009 traveling with the Culpepper/Merriweather Circus, and that's where I met Ryan. He was one of Casey Cainan's proteges and when a painful divorce drove Casey to take himself & his tigers to Saudi Arabia, Ryan stayed on with Kelly Miller.

A very nice guy, Ryan couldn't have been kinder or more dedicated to the comfort of his animals, so if you're a PETA supporter or believe circuses exploit their animals—& I will concede: Some do—put a plug in it for now please. Thanks!

###

I think what it comes down to is the old story about the frog riding across the river on the scorpion's back. The scorpion turns on the frog & stings him to death because such is the scorpion's nature.

Tigers are predators.

You don't actually have to do anything to a tiger to get them to turn on you.

Tigers don't even have to think you're doing something to them to get triggered and turn on you.

Tigers will just turn on you because their innate preying & territorial instincts surface unpredictably.

Thus, tiger-training is a high-risk profession. I doubt very many tiger trainers make it to a ripe old age.

###

In other news, I am just rolling along on that old conveyor belt.

I did manage to clear the afternoon so I could labor a bit on the Work in Progress—Neal & Grazia are now standing in front of the old Sampson Opera House talking about sex—but first I must exercise.

And speaking of sex...

The real-life Daria is back from Switzerland, & I can't tell whether our texts are flirty.

They might be.

We both like gurlZ as much as we like boyZ sexually, and real-life Daria uses seduction kinda the way I use humor. Plus, of course, she's very beautiful.

I want to know everything about you, she texted from Switzerland. You’ve captured my imagination.

Hmmmmm...

I let her read Chapter 1 of the Work in Progress, and of course, that fascinated her—though I did go to great lengths to explain: The character is clearly based on you. But it's not you.

Most of the time, I feel like I am absolutely done with that part of my life (and good riddance!)

But every once in a while...

susandennis

Today I will hit 40000 miles on my car's odometer. I have no idea why I am also obsessed with this. But, I have an Amazon return and that will do it. I may wait until this afternoon when the house cleaner comes.

Yesterday I was sitting here at my table typing away and started hearing Julio meowing like crazy. He was sitting by the door just carrying on like he was telling me a long, involved story about something. Biggie was not in the room. I checked the cameras (litter box, close, window hammock, under bed) no Biggie. I got up and opened the front door and he strolled on in like 'what the fuck took you so long'. Julio is his doorbell.

I talked to Bonny yesterday and learned that Noelle has been going over to the nursing unit nearly every day to visit with Hazel and John. She just learned this. We are both relieved as we neither one are good at that sort of thing but it's nice to know someone is taking care of them. Of course Noelle thinks everything is a state secret so if there's a problem she will not let us know - which is also good, I guess. Nothing from Joan yesterday, so I decided to let her live a little longer.

I also talked to Jan yesterday and she says Dick is doing great. He should be home tomorrow. Their pastor showed up with a milkshake in her purse (Dick has an ice cream addiction). All is good.

My arm/elbow did pretty good in volleyball. It's now to the point where it really no longer hurts except when I hit the ball. I'm hoping that maybe that clears up by Thursday because my left hand just does not have the required volleyball skills.

The baseball games start at 4 and 6:30. I may do laundry. I may go to Trader Joes. I am so grateful to have these choices. The instructor of our aqua stretch, nee yoga class always spends way too much time at the end of class instructing us to concentrate on our stresses and exhale them out... it's frustrating to me because I don't have any. I breathe anyway just to spite him.

maju

I woke up feeling extra tired and with a headache this morning, in spite of sleeping well last night. I did wake up ten or 15 minutes before the alarm though. I took a couple of tylenol with breakfast and went for a walk about an hour later, and by the time I got back from the walk I was feeling somewhat better. I was still very unmotivated to do anything on the moving front, but I gave myself two tasks, one moving-related and one not, for the day - empty the sideboard* and start a loaf of sourdough bread - and both of those are now done. Anything extra I get done will be a bonus. I've also organised quite a lot of stuff to go to Goodwill, but I'm waiting for some unwanted clothes to dry so I can add those to the pile. I keep reminding myself that I don't actually have a deadline (yet), so any progress is good even if it's slow.

* I need to get the sideboard out of the house because it's just inside the front door at a 90° angle to it, forming a sort of hallway/divider between the front door and the living room, and will be somewhat in the way of getting other pieces of furniture out. Being right inside the front door like that, it's always been a catch-all area and gets re-cluttered really quickly if it's ever cleared off. It also has four drawers which are similar catch-alls, full of lots of duplicate stationery/office supplies (scissors, sticky tape, markers, etc) as well as instructions sheets for long-gone appliances. As you can imagine, I ended up just throwing away a lot of what was in and on that sideboard.

Having been on the go for most of the morning, I'm suddenly starting to wilt. I think I will allow myself to take some time off this afternoon.

luscious_purple

It's been a rough 72 (or so) hours.

On Saturday, I woke up to the news that the Baroness of Storvik, officially Gracia but known to all as Gracie, died most unexpectedly of an apparent heart attack. I think she was 53.

I was trying to process the shock and sadness, while I was also trying to get my cat Julia to eat food and drink water all weekend.

Then, early this morning, Julia D*****, First of Her Name, Serene Princess of the Household, traveled to the Rainbow Bridge.

Julia's health had been declining in the last few weeks; I took her to the vet for euthanasia just after Labor Day weekend, but she meowed and purred so strongly in my arms that I just couldn't go through with the deed.

Her appetite was slowly declining, and she took in barely any food this weekend. I know that's a bad sign in cats. Last night, after the baronial business meeting, I meant to reread parts of a book on pet loss that I've owned since I had to face the death of my dog in 2001. But I ended up dozing off in front of the football game on TV (just to have some noise in the house). I woke up after midnight and put Julia on my lap (on top of a towel because of her general funkiness) and I brushed her and told her what a pretty kitty she was and repeated her name and felt her weakened purr. (During the Zoom meeting, she had crawled out of her bed and over to my chair for pettings, but she could manage only a few steps at a time.) I kept petting her until about 2:30 a.m., and then I told her I really needed sleep, and I put her in her bed with her head pointing away from me. While I was in the bathroom, she managed to turn around with her head pointing toward me and my bed.

That's how I found her this morning. Already getting cold and stiff.

Herveus and I dug a grave in the backyard and I laid Julia on the old towel and sprinkled a few of Nick's cremains on her still body. She missed her human Daddy so much since he died, and I wanted her to spend eternity with a little part of him.

You probably all know the story about our pets waiting for us at the Rainbow Bridge so they can cross it together with us. I want to think that Nick was waiting for Julia at the Rainbow Bridge, so that they can now enjoy each other's company again.

Current Mood: sad

fflo

A twin bill today--- from doll/toy world:

maju

18. If you could live forever, would you want to? Why? I would if I could be in good health and of sound mind for the duration. Otherwise what would be the point?

19. If you had to be someone else for one day, who would you be and why? I have no idea.

20. What positive changes have you made in your life recently? Only the ones necessary for my move to Connecticut - sorting and disposing of things I don't want or need any more.

21. Who makes you feel good about yourself? Getting necessary things done. Creating something (by sewing, knitting, or crocheting).

22. What is your biggest regret? That I didn't get longer with S.

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Reading

Saint Death's Daughter

Hello Seasonal Affective Disorder, My Old Friend

The Biggie Report

Postcard of the Day

Waiting at the vet's... Again

Teaching

(no subject)

The Hallmarked Man

Update

He did it again

wednesday

Postcard of the Day

tuesday

Question:

Tigers

Amazon return day...

(no subject)

Sadness

Postcard of the Day

365 Questions 2025

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August 2024

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