zyzyly

14. In twenty years, what do you want to remember? I just hope I'm still alive in twenty years to be doing any remembering.

15. What are you most excited about in your life right now – today? I'm not really excited about anything in my life right now. I'm in the middle of a move about which I have ambivalent feelings*, and I really just want it to be all over.

16. What experience from this past year do you appreciate the most? Not many, but getting to know S's son a bit better has been good.

* I'm ambivalent about moving to Connecticut for a few reasons. Leaving here means physically removing myself from the area and the home I shared with S, and that's not easy. Moving to Connecticut means being close to my eldest daughter and my granddaughters and not feeling so alone all the time, but I've never particularly wanted to live in Connecticut so I have very mixed feelings. (Connecticut itself has beautiful areas outside of the very congested coastal strip, but I'm used to almost every street around here being very pedestrian-friendly with sidewalks, and where my daughter lives has almost no sidewalks, so that's a big negative for me.)

susandennis

Today is the earthquake drill. Bonny's in charge and she's all stressed about it and I don't blame her. On the up side, she did find out that Ingrid is not participating so that helps everyone. We have to do several things individually and report and then do a couple of group things and report. Then we are done.

I skipped volleyball today. I sent a text to Steve last night to tell him. Until I can walk down to the first floor mailroom and back with no pain, I ain't playing. I do not want Knee Issues.

I always worry about complaining about health related things. I do not suffer others' complaints well, so I am always super duper sensitive about my own. Martha was here Saturday night when my knee was the hurtiest. It was a killer to get up or down and I did both while she was here and explained why. aka complained. Then Tuesday she was here for something else and I was sure I bitched then as well. But, this morning, after volleyball, I got a text from her 'richard says you weren't at volleyball, you ok?' I guess maybe I don't complain as much as I think I do.

I didn't even wake up until volleyball was nearly over. A 93 (out of 100 - 86 on Fitbit) on my bed's sleep score.

The Mariners game was a disaster last night. Well, not a disaster for Blue Jay's fans but pretty ugly for us. Games tonight and tomorrow.

I need to get dressed and go down and pick up the Timber Ridge Times for our floor. I usually grab them on my way home from volleyball. Mickel, who sets them out, always does ours first (each floor gets a stack) cause he knows I'll be first to pick them up. I suspect he's wondering what the hell happened this morning.

Or he's like Martha and didn't even notice I wasn't there. hahahaha I'm soooooo important.

mallorys_camera

Cooler weather is turning me contemplative. All I really want to do is lounge on my couch and read. And I want to read immersive books, books that you don't read so much as live.

Immersive books are not necessarily good books. I wouldn't call the Cormoran Strike series, for example, particularly well-written (though it is better written than its author's earlier Harry Potter series.) But its prose is serviceable enough to support the weight of all those details, the underwriting of an entire imagined universe so that I actually see the characters (and no, the Cormoran Strike I see doesn't look anything like Tom Burke in the television series). The narrative's events have their own folder in my brain's filing system: not with the memory of real events but also not with the scattered impressions of made-up things. It's very strange.

Every once in a while, you stumble across a book that is both good and immersive. Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norell is such a book. I am doing my annual reread and wondering, Why aren't there more books like this one?

And also musing on Susannah Clarke's own perplexingly strange fate: After she finished Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norell, which is brilliant in every possible way, she became incapable of writing. It's as though the Gentleman With the Thistledown Hair, furious over her unflattering portrait, slapped her with a curse, perhaps a cease & desist suit in fairy court. (She did publish two slim volumes after Jonathan Strange, but they were trunk stories, written before the novel.)

I wonder what people who don't read do when they're feeling contemplative?

###

Money in the bank is making me complacent.

Really, I should not be lolling on the couch, book in hand, because I've got a shitload of stuff to do and will be hanging out with real-life Flavia in the City all weekend long, which shaves a couple of days off the time I have to do things.

I have been wondering whether I should tell real-life Flavia about the chick-lit novel.

In the first two chapters, she's characterized as this rich dilittante, and I rather think her feelings would be hurt if she found this out.

You're BRAVE, real-life Daria told me.

Yes, I answered. Writing semi-autobiographical fiction is fraught with danger, which is why I have spent the last who-know-how-many-years writing a novel about June Miller, wife of Henry Miller, BFF of Anaïs Nin. Anaïs Nin’s feelings are not gonna get hurt if I describe HER as a rich dilettante.

Flavia’s character does deepen & get richer as the novel progresses. The third part of the novel will be written entirely in Flavia’s first-person POV, & in the fourth part of the novel, Grazia, Daria, & Flavia go off on a wacky roadtrip together to spread Neal’s ashes, & they’re all BFF, basking in mutual admiration.

plaidcake

Front: Minnie, Agnes, May
Back: Emma, Hazel, MAW (Edith Lynne, MY GREAT-GRANDMOTHER)

Hazel died in the 1918 flu at a very young age - my mother was named after her.

I knew MAW (Edith) the longest and visited her often until she fell and broke her shoulder and died of pneumonia when I was ten.

I knew Emma (Aunt Emmy) for a long time, too. She married the milkman Jim who delivered to the house where she was a maid. She later lived with my grandmother Mildred for many years.

I saw Minnie a few times when she tightly hugged me. Scary. I don't think she ever married.

May became a Pentacostal preacher after her preacher husband died.

ranunculus

This last week has been crazy busy.
( Update with pictures. )

summersgate

Helios lens. Taken from the kitchen window as the sun was sending its last light onto the back porch.

rejectomorph

Over the weekend there was a browser failure which kept me offline for some days. It's been resolved, for now, but I don't want to think about it anymore. Exhausting.

This is the third gray day in a row, but we've gotten very little rain despite the persistent clouds. So far the apartment has managed to hold onto enough heat that I haven't had to turn on the furnace, but I strongly suspect that tonight will bring an end to that luck. The high today is 63, and it will get colder soon, while the apartment is holding at 70 for now. Overnight it usually loses at least three or four degrees this time of year, and I find my aged bones need at least 67 degrees to not make me miserable.

I'd hoped to hold off until November before firing up the smelly beast, but that probably won't happen now. Oddly, if I could hold out one more night I'd be in the clear for at least nine more days. We're going back to sunny skies and highs in the seventies, with the autumnal weather delayed until the final week of October. But I'm actually feeling rather chilly even now, and I'm pretty sure I'll be using that thermostat not long after sunset today.

Oh, the browser drama is over for now, and without a reinstallation. After a nap Tuesday afternoon I opened Opera and then remembered it wasn't working, but had to make a quick run to the bathroom (as the browser isn't the only faulty piece of equipment I deal with anymore) and when I got back several minutes later the damned thing was actually loading pages. So in the end it did sort of fix itself, I guess. I just had to leave it alone long enough. I'll try to remember that lesson if it misbehaves the same way again. I wish my deteriorating brain and body could be dealt with the same way, but alas they just continue to fall apart when they are ignored.

Speaking of which, I need to fix some dinner soon, or I'll end up cooking in the middle of the night again. Less fun than it sounds. No fun at all, in fact. At least not for me. I'd just as soon eat a bag of Cheetos. Good thing I'm all out of those.

asakiyume

wakanomori ran in the Cape Cod Marathon over the weekend--in the teeth of an approaching nor'easter! While he was slogging it out, I wandered the coast, nibbling rose hips and admiring plants like this one, with soft, enticing seed heads. I fount out it's called "groundsel bush," also sea-myrtle or saltbush (Baccharis halimifolia)

These patent leather shoes grabbed my attention, tucked just so on the other side of the wall separating the beach from the sidewalk. No one was walking barefoot on the beach except gulls and cormorants.

They look like shiny eggs in a nest.

Or like an offering. In The Snow Queen, Gerda gives her new red shoes to the river, believing that the river has taken her playmate Kay, and that by offering the river her shoes, she can induce it to give him back. But the river hasn't taken Kay.

These black shoes aren't near enough to the ocean to really count as an offering to the waves or tide, I don't think.

So if they're an offering, to or for whom?

Or maybe someone just doesn't like their patent leather shoes and has left them for someone else to claim.

Current Music: Los Rakas: Celoso

susandennis

I'm still just over people. Especially old people. This is not a good place to live in this situation. I need to fix it. At least my house is clean and tidy and mine. And there are no other people in it.

I just went to a food and beverage meeting that I could have skipped. Except for one bit. Last week, the CEO in her weekly letter to the population said that there had been reports of whistling and finger snapping to get the attention of the servers and that that was not acceptable behavior. Now, I have a big problem with her handling such incidents this way but that aside...

Today the Food and Beverage Director said much the same but also indicated it was in the bar. The bartender is a real diva so that's all making sense now. Plus drunk old people have a hard time getting up to the bar when they want another hit. Double making sense. Not that it's acceptable but at least it's now credible.

In the meeting today one old lady on the back row piped up that since the was announced, she and her friends had tried snapping their fingers "our arthritis make that impossible and none of us ever learned how to whistle". It just cracked me up.

I sent Christian an email about my closet yesterday. I heard nothing. So today I texted him 'is your email broken? or are you just ignoring me?' The phone rang. "You didn't say it was an emergency!!!" He cracks me up. He's one people I am not over. He promises to save the closet situation so whew. Actually he had a condition - our initial meeting must start with breakfast at the Issaquah Cafe. NO problem there. I wonder if Ichiro eats there ever?

conuly

I'm meh on the lyrics and music, but the video...! So here it is, with a couple of other videos that inexplicably got skipped last time I posted a lot of videos.

****

( Fate of Ophelia )

******

( Two covers of the same song )

*******

( Guinea pigs exit and enter the tube )

******

( Ghost waltz )

conuly

Also, another one of our furnace pipes has developed a leak. Every time we fix one, the next one goes. I've patched this one, so with any luck (and with our keeping the heat pretty low) it should last until we can call in a plumber.

(Does anybody know a plumber who will accept payment in semi-feral kittens? There's a batch around the corner, very adorable, very healthy, and willing to warm up to anybody who feeds them! They do need to be just a little bit neutered, defleaed, and probably dewormed as well, not to mention vaxxed, but that's surely no big deal for the right family! Actually, I think it's two litters, so that should be ample payment for a little bit of plumbing work.)

**********************************

( Read more... )

maju

This morning I went for another walk with my parkrun friend P before lunch. It was beautifully clear and sunny, and around 18°C/65°F by the time we got back here at 12:30 pm. We walked around my suburb to look at Halloween decorations, but honestly, I walked down her street yesterday and the decorations were far more spectacular than the ones around here. In her neighbourhood there are a lot of giant inflatables (including a pair of very big inflatable eyeballs in her yard), but in my neighbourhood the emphasis seems to be more on skeletons and gravestones, although there were two or three houses with some inflatables. (There are a LOT of skeletons around here.)

It's now turned cloudy and according to the forecast, will be a lot colder for the rest of the week. Somehow my house feels colder with only one person in it.

With the help of some melatonin I had a much better night last night, but I expect the insomnia to continue until this move is behind me.

susandennis

Tree diversity! (Also windows will stay dirty til next June so I've come to think of it as rain art.)

I'm thinking about two major purchases. Well, one for sure and one maybe. I want a closet expert to fix my closet. I've done all I can do and now I need an expert. I sent an email to Christian last night asking him to help. I'd love to pay him and have him do it all but he might not want to. So then I'm hoping he 'knows a guy'.

Then my mattress. I don't have the usual mattress issue. It's fine to sleep on. It's a little dicey to get in and out of bed especially with hurt knees but that's not a showstopper either. It's the size. The mattress is too small for for the bed. And raising and lowering the bed every day makes the mattress slip and slide. It's the cheapest mattress I could find and actually weighs very little which I thought was a good thing until it started traveling. But, my plan is to wait until my brother comes in January and see if he and I can noodle out a solution and, if not, go mattress shopping. I'll go back to where I bought the bed and tell them to sell me a mattress that fits!

Today is food and beverage committee meeting. Always painless and sometimes interesting.

Oh I just read that Ichiro (retired Seattle baseball player) and his wife live here in Issaquah. A sighting in the wild would be wild.

My knee is still bitching. Not I'm-going-to-quit-on-you bitching just moaning and complaining. I'm going to go to volleyball tomorrow but I'm going to bail at the first sign of trouble. My swim today, however, was fine. It's just the walk home is where the bitching started.

The Mariners' next game is tonight at 5. I'll be ready.

The tweak to the mini monsters pattern has, apparently, been a hit. On Sunday night I had a healthy inventory. I only put out 2 or 3 at a time so that I'll always have something out there on the shelf, but they got me this week. The basket was empty most of yesterday. I've got work to do!

mallorys_camera

Dreamed of the Little Store. Rik owned it, and it didn't look like the Little Store, being three connected rooms on the shore of a vast lake, but I absolutely knew it was the Little Store. The big-ticket item was miniatures of people, exquisitely crafted, maybe measuring eight inches tall. And they were selling so fast!

I bought one set. It came in a sandlewood box that when opened all the way turned into a series of miniature rooms.

It made me so happy to see the Little Store! But I was concerned that items were not being restocked quicky enough, and Christmas was fast approaching, obviously the biggest retail opportunity of the year. I said to somebody, Please tell Rik he simply must order new inventory. But I didn't know whether Rik would.

###

Had a mildly productive yesterday. Studied more tax law. Taught myself the calendar function on Squarespace. Reveled in that feeling of being a Real Human Girl that only paying off bills can give you. Tromped! Reread The King Must Die.

The big political story of the day was that apparently, Young Republicans love Hitler, think people from Arkansas are inbred cow fuckers, & would go to the zoo if they wanted to see monkeys playing ball.

Unsurprising.

Trump's basic appeal is white nationalism, and, of course, we are looking at a future where there won't be an ethnic majority, white or otherwise; there will be a bunch of semi-blended minorities. The Trumpers think by coiling, hissing, and shaking their rattles (see link to Politico story above), they can stave this off. Though, of course, they can't.

In a more progressive cultural moment, they wouldn't feel that they could express these thoughts in a semi-public space.

I don't necessarily think it's a bad thing that they can.

It's always best to see your enemies' true faces.

summersgate

I finished grouting all the mirrors yesterday afternoon and thought that deserved a photo so I got out the helios lens.

Then when I was coming in from putting the chickens to bed last night it looked neat like something dug up from an archeological site in the darkness. I stacked them all up this morning and brought them into the house. It's going to take a while before I get done painting them all.

For Christmas last year Chloe gave me a gift certificate for an hour of Float Therapy at the Mended Willow. I finally got busy yesterday and scheduled my session. I'm going next Tuesday afternoon. Should be interesting. I do like to dream. I had some interesting ones this morning. I didn't have time to write them down before so they are slipping away. Just some little shreds left that I can feel but can't remember.

susandennis

On my way to the pool this morning, I passed an EMT gurney in the hallway outside an assisted living patient. I don't think she actually took them up on their offer, though. She was still there and the gurney was not, when I came home.

When someone dies, they put their name in a frame with their birth dates and death dates and set it out with a vase of a red rose. This week's departed was born in 1921. I'll bet she was beyond ready.

Bonny just came in here to report on her latest encounter with JimAcrossTheHall. He's checking out fast. Bonny says he has a mountain of Cheetos and in his apartment and is no longer getting his meals which he was doing until a week or so ago. I just ran into him in the hallway, which I do every day, and he really can no longer carry on a conversation. He does get his walks in. He said they were coming today to tell him what's new. I hope that means that someone is behind the scenes making arrangements for his care.

And he's one month younger than I am.

The aqua fit class was not worth the wet. It was taught by the same guy who teaches aqua Stretch and I think one of his problems is that he's never been in the water. He comes up with these exercises that make perfect sense in the air and are impossible in the water. He had music, which was great, but his exercises were not even close to being in time with the music's beat. I finally just got over to the edge of the pool and did my own thing, making sure my knee was not tweaked and I was getting in some cardio. I do not need to go back to that class again. Ever. I think the knee will be fine by Thursday's volleyball game, but to be honest, if the game was tomorrow, I think I'd pass. I want this sucker healed!

I am impressed at the difference both Voltaren and the lidocaine patches make. Dr. Gemini says the Voltaren alone was probably best in my case since it goes after both the pain and the inflation. But both are really good at chasing the pain. I need to order up some more patches for next time.

I have a half a dozen tops that are really winter only and about the same amount that are only for summer. Today I swapped them. I have a rod in the storage area and that's where the off season stuff goes to live. The storage area is getting close to our of hand. I'm hoping it will hold off until January when my brother comes and I can con him into helping me get it shaped up.

The house cleaners should be here in 30. If she's a no show this week, steps will have to be taken cause this place is in real need after skipping a week.

maju

I'm feeling very sleepy this afternoon; I think my many nights of poor sleep are catching up with me. Last night my brain got overactive when I went to bed and I ended up getting up and reading for a while, which has become a very unwelcome habit over the last few weeks. Then a couple of hours before my alarm went off I woke up with that pain behind my right ear even though I had been sleeping on my left side. Usually it seems to come on when I'm sleeping on my right side, as if I've somehow pushed on it "wrong" in my sleep, but obviously that didn't happen last night. It just started hurting out of the blue. I turned over onto my right side, adjusted my head on the pillow so the ear wasn't painful, and was able to fall asleep again quickly, and by the time I woke up a couple of hours later it was fine. I wish at least one of the people who have examined it over the last year or two had been able to find a cause!

One of the prompts for this month's family photo challenge is "wheelbarrow". You wouldn't think a wheelbarrow would be hard to find, but now that the weather has turned colder they've become virtually non-existent. Back in September, when it was warmer and I guess people were getting their yards ready for winter, I was seeing several every time I went for a walk, but not now. I did find a wooden one full of plants outside a shop on "antique row" (nearby street featuring many antique shops) this morning though, so I've satisfied the prompt.

somedayseattle

MARINERS!
Game 2
10-3 over Blue Jays.

susandennis

When I went to bed, I was 50-50 on whether or not I'd go to the aqua fit class today. The knee I sprained is my right knee and it was still kind of iffy plus, I fell yesterday because I was walking too fast down the hallway and I bruised the shit out of my right leg just under the knee. I had a hard time finding a comfortable position to sleep in so I figured, I'd just baby them both today. BUT this morning, they are both very very very much better. I think I'll go to the class.

I was walking too fast because of fried chicken. They had fried chicken on the dinner menu - the one you can order for take out - for the first time ever. I thought it would be a great after game dinner. The earliest you can do pick up is 3. The game started at 2. Who knows when it would end. So I figured it would be better to get the pickup at 3 which I did but wanted to get back to the game fast. So I fell.

It was not a tragic fall. One of the house keepers saw me fall from way down the hall and man, did she coming running. I tried to stop her by telling her I was fine but she was there in a heartbeat. Interesting to know that if it is a tragic fall, I won't die alone. (Although, I've never thought dying alone was such a horrible thing.)

The Mariners won the game quite handily. That's two out of the seven so far. The next game is Wednesday in Seattle. There are a whole lot of fair weather Mariner fans but the ones that amuse me the most are the local TV anchors. For most of the years, they barely cover the Mariners on TV news. Seahawks, yes. If a Seahawks football player farts, they have a 5 part special covering it. Mariners? Wait, isn't that a baseball team?

But, now, they are all over it. They know nothing about baseball and have very few of the facts correct - in one news report I heard that Friday night's game was 18 innings, 15 innings and 14 innings - one single report. And pronouncing players names is a challenge they just cannot conquer. But, they are soooooo excited.

Meanwhile the Brewers/Dodgers game also turned out to be must see TV but I didn't must see it. Reading about it was fun, though.

After aqua fit, the day turns back to normal, I hope. There's a meeting at 3 that I show up for but am going to weasel out of if at all possible.

I found yet another Gmail enhancement. There is a new folder called Purchases that goes back, for me and includes, for me, stuff I bought in 2018. How very handy. I used to try and filter shopping emails but I gave up on that a few years ago and here it is all done for me! Also my Pixel Watch (3) got a nice new update yesterday.

Time to suit up!

mallorys_camera

A classic symptom of PTSD is a feeling of looming catastrophe.

It's clear I have PTSD about the invoicing process—which I can only surmise comes from living with Ben, who was always lying about money, in particular after he'd been laid off by Sports Illustrated and kept assuring me for eight long months: Well, they promised the check was in the mail! They promised the check would arrive here by Fed Ex at precisely 3:15 this afternoon! Etc, etc.

Specifics in lying are always a sign that the liar is getting too full of themself. Really talented liars keep it very general and try to overlap with the truth as much as possible. Ben, in other words, was not a very talented liar. I believed him because I wanted to believe him—(a) because the little household I was running was a house of cards where every penny had its use, and (b) because I loved him.

###

I don't know what one does about PTSD. My client, in fact, processed the invoice in four quick days, which I absolutely knew they would. It will be hitting my bank account this afternoon.

It would help if my savings were a bigger buffer, I suppose, so that's what I'm going to concentrate on over the next few months.

###

Anyway...

The anxiety was intense.

And because I need to keep my head clear for tax law, I eshewed gummies. And I am also eschewing alcohol because I'm on the All lentils, oatmeal, & salmon, all of the time! diet.

All I could do was try to distract myself.

It was raining very hard, so no tromping about outside.

So instead, I watched the entire Godfather saga. Godfather 3 is so fuckin' awful, it's hard to believe all three were created by the same director, since the first two films are absolute masterpieces.

And I Photoshopped a bunch of photos to make them look like Thomas Kinkade paintings (see above). I will confess to having a certain sneaking affection for Thomas Kinkade paintings. Yes, they are the most awful kitsch imaginable. But I like kitsch.

Then I wrote another 1,000 or so words on the Work in Progress, describing how Grazia becomes an ER nurse and the appearance of Patient Zero in the ER where she works at the start of the COVID pandemic.

I am not very confident about the status details. I haven't actually worked in an ER for more than 30 years. So, assuming I am actually able to finish the damn thing, I will have to run those status details past someone with more recent ER experience.

It is still very gloomy & dark, but since it's not raining, I will try to tromp today. And also do tax law & work on the Shawangunk Dem and RTT birthday websites.

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zyzyly

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Page generated Oct. 16th, 2025 09:18 pm

Reading

365 Questions 2025

Shakey Shakey

When Characters Come Off the Page

Six Sisters

Fun Days, Stove, Firefly.

wednesday later

52/237: Overcast, Underwhelmed

shoes for an offering

Attituditis

I have been kinda obsessed with The Fate of Ophelia choreography

The rain has stopped and the weather is amazing

(no subject)

Wednesday

Dream of the Little Store

wednesday

Living with the olds

(no subject)

picking up a rental car

Better Better Better except

PTSD

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August 2024

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