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Jan. 4th, 2004 10:11 pmI can't believe the weekend is over and another week is waiting on the far side of my dreams. Where does the time go?
The on-call doctor thinks Arlina will be released tomorrow. I hope so. The house is empty without her. I cleaned up and did the dishes this evening after I got home. I am always amazed at what a mess I can make in such a short time. It is usually contained to my office and my side of the bed, but when she is gone it tends to spill out all over.
Arlina's regular oncologist has been on vacation, but will be back tomorrow. We were supposed to see her anyway tomorrow to review where we are at, and plan the next steps. Arlina had some CT scans last monday to see if things are shrinking, growing or staying the same. The on-call docs haven't said what they saw on them.
Every scan she's had since May has had something crappy on it. You think it can't get any worse and then something else pops up. I remember looking at her first CT scan in May when I was delivering it to a doctor's office. The first thing I saw were these big white spots on the liver. Seeing that made my heart pound so hard I had to stop looking. I just slid the films back in the envelope and sat there for a while.
We have seen all of the various scans many times since then. The regular oncologist takes a lot of time with us, explaining things, going into detail about what she is thinking. We look at the films together and talk about what they mean, and what we need to do. We measure the little white blobs and compare them to the old films. That's what we'll be about tomorrow.
We try not to anticipate or get too anxious about it. It will at least give us some definition, and then we can take the next steps, whatever they may be.
The on-call doctor thinks Arlina will be released tomorrow. I hope so. The house is empty without her. I cleaned up and did the dishes this evening after I got home. I am always amazed at what a mess I can make in such a short time. It is usually contained to my office and my side of the bed, but when she is gone it tends to spill out all over.
Arlina's regular oncologist has been on vacation, but will be back tomorrow. We were supposed to see her anyway tomorrow to review where we are at, and plan the next steps. Arlina had some CT scans last monday to see if things are shrinking, growing or staying the same. The on-call docs haven't said what they saw on them.
Every scan she's had since May has had something crappy on it. You think it can't get any worse and then something else pops up. I remember looking at her first CT scan in May when I was delivering it to a doctor's office. The first thing I saw were these big white spots on the liver. Seeing that made my heart pound so hard I had to stop looking. I just slid the films back in the envelope and sat there for a while.
We have seen all of the various scans many times since then. The regular oncologist takes a lot of time with us, explaining things, going into detail about what she is thinking. We look at the films together and talk about what they mean, and what we need to do. We measure the little white blobs and compare them to the old films. That's what we'll be about tomorrow.
We try not to anticipate or get too anxious about it. It will at least give us some definition, and then we can take the next steps, whatever they may be.
