(no subject)

[zyzyly]

We came home from the hospital about 2 hours ago, and my wife fell asleep immediately, still under the effects of another dose of pain medicine.


It was bad news. I could see it in the doctor's face as soon as she walked in the room, yet her words still stunned me. My wife was still groggy from the demerol. I'm not sure how much she understands. She woke up a little while ago and asked where we were, and went back to sleep.

It looks like a very bad form of cancer, and pretty far advanced. She will need to have a biopsy to be sure. Her CT scan shows multiple large liver metastases, probably from the colon.

There are a thousand things running through my mind. It is so quiet in the house right now. The only noise is the ticking of the clock, and my wife's breathing. I have spent stretches of the last two hours standing over the bed and watching her breathe. Wondering what the morning will bring for her, and for me.

I have sat here wondering whether to journal this. I am still stunned, and really don't know what to do with myself at the moment.

Comments

[weaktwos.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

I'm so very sorry to hear this news. Honestly, I have no wisdom to offer. I wish you all the strength, courage, love and insight you two will need to overcome this.

I keep you both in my thoughts.

[ineedcoffee.livejournal.com]

oh, I am so very sorry for your bad news...there are no words I could even begin to say that could make it better. I will keep both of you in mind, and hope only for the best. Hang in there.

Cat

[ldygwynedd.livejournal.com]

I will pray for you and your wife. You will be in my thoughts.

[thirdreel.livejournal.com]

Sorry to hear that...hope it all turns out for the best.

[hippyone.livejournal.com]

So sorry to hear that and I will have the two of you in my prayers!

[jmhm.livejournal.com]

this is going to sound twisted, but the first thing I thought when I read your story was how it was a great mercy for both of you that you found out first and had a night to yourself to react without guarding your face.

fwiw

[ex-muzer409.livejournal.com]

I'm so so sorry. I wish much strength for you, and as little pain as possible for both of you.

[melanie.livejournal.com]

i am so sorry. there aren't any good words for this. i'm just terribly sorry.

[moodtobestewed.livejournal.com]

I wish the best for you and your wife. Take care.

[digitalshephed.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry to hear about that. I will certainly pray for you. Fortunately she is living in a country with the most advanced medical expertise in the world. There is hope.

[amicablebitch.livejournal.com]

i hope things work out.

[parisgarters.livejournal.com]

I, too, am so so sorry. You will be in my prayers. Thank you for being tender and open enough to share this with us. I hope we can be some small source of comfort and support for you.

[jscottharris.livejournal.com]

I am so sorry to hear this. First, you grieve; then, you find that lower gear that pulls you through. My prayers are with you.

[badsede.livejournal.com]

I will pray for you both.

[whyaduck.livejournal.com]

I am so sorry to hear this. You are both in my thoughts.

[bigpancakes.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry to hear about this. Please email me your name and your wife's name and I will put you on the seminary prayer list.

God bless you both.

[myasma.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

[myasma.livejournal.com]

Thank you! It's times like this I wish I didn't know so much.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_chandra/]

I'm so sorry to hear this. I will be thinking of and praying for both of you.

[myasma.livejournal.com]

Thank you for your thoughts and prayers.

[myasma.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

[myasma.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the prayers.

[myasma.livejournal.com]

Yeah, it kind of gave me a little time to process it, although when she did wake up, she knew, so it was kind of a moot point.

[myasma.livejournal.com]

Thank you. I think we'll need both.

[myasma.livejournal.com]

Thank you--your words are a comfort.

[myasma.livejournal.com]

Thank you.

[myasma.livejournal.com]

Thanks.

[myasma.livejournal.com]

Thank you.

[myasma.livejournal.com]

Me too. Thank you.

[myasma.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much. It is amazing the comfort I draw from this community. It is a lot easier to talk about it here than with the people I have to tell this to face to face. We are goig to tell our families about this today and we just don't know what to say.

[myasma.livejournal.com]

Thanks. I'm looking for that lower gear, but it's still grinding. I'll get it sooner or later though.

[myasma.livejournal.com]

Thank you--prayers are much needed.

[myasma.livejournal.com]

Thank you.

[myasma.livejournal.com]

I will. thank you!

[myasma.livejournal.com]

Thank you Chandra. I was thinking of you on Thursday. Did everything go ok? You are in our prayers as well.