Surgery day
May. 23rd, 2003 04:19 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
zyzylyArlina came through her surgery ok. She had quite a bit of pain when she came out of recovery, but it eventually was controlled, and she has been sleeping for a few hours now. I snuck down to my office to get a cup of coffee. I think I intimidate the night nurse.
They found much more cancer than they thought, pretty much spread throughout her abdomen. The surgeon cried when she told me this. She took as much out as she could, looking mostly to minimize potential future problems.
Before the surgery the oncologist shared the results of the PET scan with us. It showed that the cancer had also spread to her spine and hip. This is why she had been having back pain for the past 6 months, which her primary doctor told her was "arthritis".
Two of the doctors told me that once she heals from the surgery, we should do something we've always wanted to do, and make the most of the time given to us. They will start her on chemo, and we'll see what happens next.
I'm so tired and all my tears are used up. It was just a week ago that we went to the ER. This has to have been the longest week of my life.
They found much more cancer than they thought, pretty much spread throughout her abdomen. The surgeon cried when she told me this. She took as much out as she could, looking mostly to minimize potential future problems.
Before the surgery the oncologist shared the results of the PET scan with us. It showed that the cancer had also spread to her spine and hip. This is why she had been having back pain for the past 6 months, which her primary doctor told her was "arthritis".
Two of the doctors told me that once she heals from the surgery, we should do something we've always wanted to do, and make the most of the time given to us. They will start her on chemo, and we'll see what happens next.
I'm so tired and all my tears are used up. It was just a week ago that we went to the ER. This has to have been the longest week of my life.
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no subject
Date: 2003-05-23 04:53 am (UTC)I'll say a prayer for you and your wife. My prayers don't carry much weight with the Almighty, so I'm afraid it probably won't help the situation much, but perhaps when added to the good wishes and prayers of others it will have some effect.
no subject
Date: 2003-05-23 05:18 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-05-23 05:21 am (UTC)i really hope that you do what the docs suggested, and go do the things that have been languishing on "The List". no matter what happens, doing those things that you meant to do has to be a good thing for you both.
no subject
Date: 2003-05-23 05:40 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-05-23 05:46 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-05-23 05:47 am (UTC)I am so sorry.
Date: 2003-05-23 06:19 am (UTC)There is also no understanding when you have the wind knocked out of you by the unfathomable- when my friend Julie was living through her last month of leukemia, I had to remind myself daily to enjoy what time we did have together, always hoping for a miracle, but knowing that I would have time enough to lose myself in the wilderness of my grief after she was gone.
Take that trip or do that thing you have always wanted to please.
no subject
Date: 2003-05-23 06:21 am (UTC)Please know that many people you've never even met are holding you and Arlina in their prayers.
no subject
Date: 2003-05-23 06:47 am (UTC)I'm so sorry, Mike. But, I know this is not over. Let me know if there is anything I can do.
no subject
Date: 2003-05-23 08:56 am (UTC)We had the same situation with Dad's surgery. We were devastated, of course. His surgeon was shattered. It became part of the dark humor of that time: "Has anyone checked on Dr M?"
There are no guarantees, but you have to be open to any (all) the miracles, small and large, that come your way. They gave Dad five months, max. (I thought: the prognosis nazis, "No Christmas for you!).
Since then, we have had two Christmases and their 50th wedding anniversary. Nobody knows why, least of all the medicos --- we believe it has been prayer.
You have so many people on your side. The heavy lifting will be up to you, but always allow your friends to carry what they can. It will be a blessing to you and your lovely wife.
You will grieve, yes, but you will know joys again and in abundance. I used to think that was a trite and insincere condolence. I can testify that it is true.
no subject
Date: 2003-05-23 09:44 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-05-24 12:21 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-05-24 12:21 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-05-24 12:25 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-05-24 12:26 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-05-24 12:27 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-05-24 12:28 am (UTC)Re: I am so sorry.
Date: 2003-05-24 12:35 am (UTC)My wife's sister is telling me that I have to be strong, but there are times I don't want to be strong anymore.
Your other post today made me cry and it felt good. Thank you so much for your support.
no subject
Date: 2003-05-24 12:38 am (UTC)One of my coworkers posted a signup list in the ICU for people to make casseroles and such for us. I suggested the post a second one for people to sign up to help us eat them.
It is so wonderful to know that there are so many people out there thinking good thoughs for us. I begin to understand what God's love truly means.
no subject
Date: 2003-05-24 12:40 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-05-24 12:43 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-05-24 12:43 am (UTC)Re:
Date: 2003-05-24 08:54 am (UTC)