58026--Placidity and turbulence

[zyzyly]

Malida got a parking ticket at school today for parking over the white line. She called me and told me she was going to the campus police to complain. She did, got nowhere, and then mentioned "my husband works here". The police officer responded with, "Uh huh." She was upset and dropped her first ever Facebook f-bomb. Although it wasn't exactly grammatically correct, she got her point across just fine. haha!

We took a walk along the creek this afternoon. Normally it is our weekend morning walking spot, but it was lovely out this afternoon, and it is close to the place we wanted to eat. We are having such nice weather, and it is difficult to comprehend what it must be like back east. I hope everyone back there weathers the storm ok, and I hope we stop getting such beautiful weather.

I'm thinking about starting a recurring theme here about what people on my Facebook page are upset about today. I have a fairly diverse friends list, and there is quite a bit of polarity around certain topics. There are generally two extremes, with fairly opposite, but predictable talking points. In many of these rants, anyone who takes an opposing or more nuanced view is usually dismissed as "an idiot".

Actually I am thinking about taking a poll of my friends that would ask if they believed it was ok for someone to have a different opinion then theirs, even on a major issue, and still not be an idiot. That way I would know who to take off my reading list. There are a lot of things I like about Facebook, but this whole idea of having to demonize anyone who doesn't agree with you is not one of those things.



Music--Walter Salas-Humara. I had never heard of him until today when I heard him on the radio. I looked him up and he was the frontman for a group in the 80s called The Silos that I had never heard of either. But I like this and will be going back for more.

Comments

[gracegiver]

I saw her f-bomb. I smiled. Her rage was felt.

I did get something in the mail regarding my parking ticket, my car was parked too far into the sidewalk. It was one of those streets where the sidewalk and street merge with a slight incline. It was $52.

With thick fog in the morning burning off to sunshine in the afternoon, yea, near perfect. And it's suppose to rain tomorrow. More than perfect!

[zyzyly.livejournal.com]

What happened to that rain?

[gracegiver]

G-damn teasers, that's what they are.

[zyzyly.livejournal.com]

yeah!

[randomdreams.livejournal.com]

I feel like FB, having so many people, encourages polarization and fury because you don't have to repeatedly interact with people. You can just tell them they're idiots and write them off and go find some other people. Places that are smaller act more like small communities, where people have to interact repeatedly and as a result behave like they're civilized.
(This ties into iterative game theory.)

[zyzyly.livejournal.com]

Maybe so. I have never really encountered that here, but I think I am more selective in who I interact with here. Or maybe less tolerant, and gave the boot right away.

[gurdonark.livejournal.com]

I like Facebook but I prefer the pet videos to the links to clickbait political and conspiracy sites. The Facebook experience teaches me that the language of disparagement crosses ideological lines. Puppy and kitten videos are fun.

[zyzyly.livejournal.com]

Yes, I have noticed the same thing. And yes, "oh look a kitten" does wonders.

[thoughtsbykat.livejournal.com]

I can empathize with Malida. I got a parking ticket on a day trip to Delft Holland for parking over the line. I had to find city hall to pay the fine before I could go home.
You are having lovely weather. I'm jealous. We didn't get the snow but it' in the 30's.
I try to stay away from political discussions. My FB is meant for positive things for friends & family. I know some of my friends & family will express their views, but I stay out of it.

[zyzyly.livejournal.com]

I generally don't jump in either, but every once in a while there is something I feel strongly about and I will say something about it. Mostly, though I just post pictures and music videos.

[annie-r.livejournal.com]

I remember The Silos! haven't thought about them since the 80's.

[zyzyly.livejournal.com]

Oh good--you should check this out--it is good.

[elainetyger.livejournal.com]

Great picture.

LOL at the f-bomb story. It is only after my vow in the fall to focus on being my own best partner (yes, I know, I know, but I will keep trying) that I *don't* f-bomb every f-ing thing. I was talking to myself and found part of me saying to another part, you know when you use that word so much and when you act angry, you frighten me, and I don't like spending a lot of time with someone who is angry or frightening. I quickly slip into its casual use when talking with family members -- cursing is baby talk on old-school Staten Island -- but I don't use it as much on my lips or in my head when alone.

I've believed for a long time that just because two intelligent adults disagree on a topic doesn't mean that one of them is wrong. I often unfriend people on facebook -- or just hide them from my newsfeed if I feel the need to be connected with them there -- if they make a habit of saying that anyone who disagrees with them is wrong. The most egregious of those are my friends who say that we are one nation under God and that the pledge of allegiance is goddamn unamerican if it doesn't contain the words "under God." I have a self-embroidered sampler on my kitchen wall that is a map of the US with the words "ONE NATION UNDER GOD" underneath, so I accept that there are people who believe this, but I especially don't like the adamance.

[zyzyly.livejournal.com]

I used to mutter it under my breath a lot, but in the new job I am much more contented, so have gotten away from it.

[basefinder.livejournal.com]

Ah yes, a big reason why I left Facebook. :-)

[zyzyly.livejournal.com]

I think this coming political season is going to do me in.

[jadeejf.livejournal.com]

Man, I would love to find some kind of way to filter out friends who think that people with differing opinions are less intelligent or whatever than they are. I love having a diverse group of friends (although admittedly, it's swung way more liberal lately, in part because my conservative friends have dropped or hidden me? maybe the left coast is starting to affect me?). But I still love my conservative friends and think they're very intelligent! Wish all my friends felt the same way towards each other as I do towards them, though :-/

[zyzyly.livejournal.com]

I do like having diversity on my page, and I find it very valuable to see what my friends at both ends of the spectrum are thinking and feeling. It helps me to calibrate my own feelings. I just can't stand the hating that has crept into almost everything. It distresses me. I was surprised at the response to my post there though--lots of insightful comments.

[rockbirthedme.livejournal.com]

I have one FB friend who often posts controversial stuff and invites debate. I get involved, because it's actually a debate, not a screaming match. She doesn't care what your views are, but she is adamant that people will be polite and there will be no drama on her wall, so things stay civil and it's fun.

I generally don't get into political debates online or offline, because most people aren't interested in swapping around ideas. They're interested in driving others who disagree with them into the ground, and you know what? I'm too old for that shit.

I like it when other people have differing views from mine. After all, there always exists the possibility (however vanishingly slim, of course) that I'm wrong, or that we're both wrong, or that there is room for both of us to be right. I've done some of my most important learning by shutting up and listening to other people explain views that are different from mine. Or listening to other people who just plain know more than I do about a topic.

Besides, if everybody liked the same things, there'd be a terrible haggis shortage.

[zyzyly.livejournal.com]

what a tragedy that would be!

[gracegiver]

LOL (on your last statement!)

[asakiyume.livejournal.com]

So what was the result of the poll? (I should probably have looked at your response to other comments before leaving this one--I'll check after...)

I've heard people straight up say that they really don't think people can hold opposing opinions without being idiots--they seem to believe that if anyone thought through the issues carefully, they would *ineluctably* arrive at the same conclusions. If you point out that other things are important to other people, or that people perceive things differently, then those very facts become reasons to dismiss people as idiots. At best, if you press people, they will pull back with a "well, they can think that if they want but I think differently," and then no more discussion.

I think people believe, and fear, that if they don't strenuously push their own viewpoint, the only alternative is to acquiesce to the other position--that, or the retreat into a relativist position. But not all things are going to be known or resolved in one conversation. We ought to be able to talk, understanding that we won't necessarily reach conclusions or finish things at the end of the conversation.

And all that's assuming a sincere desire to talk. A lot of times that's absent: people post things just to be inflammatory, and/or others respond in a way that's intended just to be inflammatory. That's not real conversation; that's just striking a pose.

[zyzyly.livejournal.com]

The result was quite a few surprisingly thoughtful and provocative responses.

One thing I have noticed about Facebook is that it seems to empower folks to think their opinion is somehow more important than it really is.

[saintgeorge.livejournal.com]

Your FB poll said that a simple "yes" or "no" would suffice. I was tempted to elaborate on my answer but I remembered that I can sometimes babble nonsense and generally look like an idiot, so I desisted.

I recognize there are genuine idiots in the world, such as GWB who blithely started a murderous religious war with the Moslems so he could be the "war president". However I try to avoid seeing any of my friends as idiots because there is a chance I might be wrong and I might well appear be the idiot myself. Live and let live seems a good stance, unless someone is being obnoxious about "being right."

The climate-change deniers have their own reasons for denying climate change. Their reasons will seem like madness to me but I cannot change their opinion. There is really no point getting fussed-up about them because the world is already over-stressed, in my opinion, and we will all be treading water soon enough.

[zyzyly.livejournal.com]

You know, I love your elaborations, and you never come across as an idiot. Feel free anytime the spirit moves you.