more words than last time
Oct. 14th, 2004 08:38 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
zyzylySomeone who read last night's post asked if we had hospice available to us, and I realized I didn't mention that Arlina is still in the hospital. She had the temporary epidural catheter placed last week, and did ok initially. They were able to take her off the IV narcotics completely, and her pain was well controlled.
On friday, she felt sick after lunch, and they gave her some ativan, which made her nod off. From that point, she slept continuously for the next 2 1/2 days. She would barely arouse, although she would get up to pee about every 8 hour so, then go back to sleep. she didn't eat anything during this time.
It was scary. At first I thought it was just a reaction to being off narcotics--sleeping it off. But by Sunday, I was afraid this was going to be it. I called a bunch of her friends and prepared them. I sat at her bedside and thought about all things I still wanted to say to her.
Sunday afternoon she woke up and had something to eat. She had a good night. She was fully awake, and even took a walk. Monday was better--she was more her old self.
Monday evening we sat together at the bedside and talked. I told her the things I wanted to tell her. It was good. We cried together. We wrote her obituary. We are, I think, ready.
Tuesday morning she had a sharp increase in her pain over a period of three hours, to the point where it was almost unbearable. The day nurse discovered that the night nurse, when she had changed the pain control syringe, had forgotten to push "start". She told me right away--I was actually relieved that it was that, and not something going going on inside Arlina.
They got the pain back under control, but she has felt crappy since then--more nausea, and a feeling of fullness. It is because of the liver--it is so big now. Yesterday she was very tired, and slept most of the day.
We want to come home. The pain control doctor is planning to put the permanent catheter in on Friday, which is what we need to be able to get out of there. It probably won't be until Monday, though, because we will need to have support available. She will probably go home under hospice care.
I am at the point where I can really only focus on her, and everything else seems like background. If I don't write for a while, that is why. I will let you know when things change. Thank you for your continued support--you all are so wonderful.
On friday, she felt sick after lunch, and they gave her some ativan, which made her nod off. From that point, she slept continuously for the next 2 1/2 days. She would barely arouse, although she would get up to pee about every 8 hour so, then go back to sleep. she didn't eat anything during this time.
It was scary. At first I thought it was just a reaction to being off narcotics--sleeping it off. But by Sunday, I was afraid this was going to be it. I called a bunch of her friends and prepared them. I sat at her bedside and thought about all things I still wanted to say to her.
Sunday afternoon she woke up and had something to eat. She had a good night. She was fully awake, and even took a walk. Monday was better--she was more her old self.
Monday evening we sat together at the bedside and talked. I told her the things I wanted to tell her. It was good. We cried together. We wrote her obituary. We are, I think, ready.
Tuesday morning she had a sharp increase in her pain over a period of three hours, to the point where it was almost unbearable. The day nurse discovered that the night nurse, when she had changed the pain control syringe, had forgotten to push "start". She told me right away--I was actually relieved that it was that, and not something going going on inside Arlina.
They got the pain back under control, but she has felt crappy since then--more nausea, and a feeling of fullness. It is because of the liver--it is so big now. Yesterday she was very tired, and slept most of the day.
We want to come home. The pain control doctor is planning to put the permanent catheter in on Friday, which is what we need to be able to get out of there. It probably won't be until Monday, though, because we will need to have support available. She will probably go home under hospice care.
I am at the point where I can really only focus on her, and everything else seems like background. If I don't write for a while, that is why. I will let you know when things change. Thank you for your continued support--you all are so wonderful.
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Date: 2004-10-14 09:15 am (UTC)I want to go yell at the nurse who forgot to start the pain meds, but they're overworked and underpaid for what they do. *sigh*
I'm glad you'll have help at home, and I wish you well while you focus on Arlina for awhile.
All the best...
Date: 2004-10-14 09:16 am (UTC)--David
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Date: 2004-10-14 09:16 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-10-14 09:16 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-10-14 09:18 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-10-14 09:26 am (UTC)Thinking of you,
V
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Date: 2004-10-14 09:33 am (UTC)The two of you...your inner strength is beyond description.
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Date: 2004-10-14 09:37 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-10-14 09:42 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-10-14 09:42 am (UTC)thinking and praying for all of you.
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Date: 2004-10-14 09:43 am (UTC)I am thinking of you both, a lot. I also pray for all the Doctors who care for us all. Monday is St. Luke's day. May it be the day Arlina goes home...
Love,
Susan
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Date: 2004-10-14 09:50 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-10-14 09:55 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-10-14 10:02 am (UTC)Sorry. Your entries make me cry, but I always read them.
I hardly ever cry.
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Date: 2004-10-14 10:07 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-10-14 10:08 am (UTC)All my positive energy to you both. yf, Tom
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Date: 2004-10-14 10:17 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-10-14 10:22 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-10-14 10:27 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-10-14 10:29 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-10-14 10:48 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-10-14 11:06 am (UTC)You are strength personified. She is grace under the most extreme of circumstances. My heart goes out to you both.
It's people like you and Arlina that restore my hope in the human race.
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Date: 2004-10-14 11:28 am (UTC)thinking of you.
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Date: 2004-10-14 11:49 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-10-14 11:50 am (UTC)But prayers of silence.
My heart doesn't know what to pray.
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Date: 2004-10-14 01:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-10-14 01:39 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-10-14 01:39 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-10-14 03:42 pm (UTC)Take care of yourself and your sweet Arlina.
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Date: 2004-10-14 07:03 pm (UTC)When I lost a close friend, the hardest part was helping her write the plans for her memorial service, but when I attended it there was grace in knowing it was exactly what she wanted (though I did cry, even though I promised her I wouldn't).
I pray for both of you multiple times daily, please let me know if there is anything I can do for you.
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Date: 2004-10-14 07:17 pm (UTC)My best to you and A. *hugs*
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Date: 2004-10-14 07:26 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-10-15 08:42 pm (UTC)nancy46350@yahoo.com
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Date: 2004-10-14 10:32 pm (UTC)Tell Arlina I said hi (=
crying
Date: 2004-10-15 06:16 am (UTC)I woke this morning to the inward singing of "Lo, How a Rose Ere Blooming". The singing really was in my mind or spirit or from that place we can't see but know is there. The singing was two voices, a woman and a man singing together. It was really beautiful. Wasn't sure at first why, then I thought of you and went to lj journal to read your latest post. Hope this song is a comfort to you.
LO, HOW A ROSE 'ERE BLOOMING
Lo, how a Rose e'er blooming
From tender stem has sprung
of Jesse's lineage coming
As those of old have sung.
It came, a Flow'ret bright,
Amid the cold of winter,
When half-spent was the night.
Isaiah 'twas foretold it,
The Rose I have in mind,
With Mary we behold it,
The Virgin Mother kind.
To show God's love aright.
She bore to us a Savior,
When half-spent was the night.
This Flow'r whose fragrance tender
with sweetness fills the air,
Dispels with glorious splendor
The darkness ev'ry where.
True Man, yet very God,
From sin and death he saves us
And lightens ev'ry load.
God's Love is our journey and our destination.
Date: 2004-10-15 10:21 am (UTC)Cancer kills the body-vehicle but the Christian witness reaches the destination and leaves the body-vehicle behind.
These physical bodies are perishable but our spirit is forever, our life journey is toward God. Do you recognize God's eternal Love that surrounds you and radiates from you regardless of life's circumstances? In that divine Love you are immortal. In that divine Love you will know that death is only of the body and it cannot touch your spirit.
The body will die because it is of this physical world, where everything dies. But you, Who you are exclusive of this body-form, you will never die. Your body, my body, every body will meet the dead end eventually because the body is made of dust. But we, Who we are, is made of spirit and we are forever.
Being made in the image of God means that our spiritual nature is Godly, like Him. Since God is Love, we can know God through Love. In this Love we can approach Him.
The body of Arlina will die but Arlina will never die because she is made in God's image. The body of Mike will perish but Mike will never die because Mike is made in God's image.
I pray for both of you that you can know your immortality and eternal safety in the heart of God. The Peace of God be upon you and abide with you always, my brother and sister.
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Date: 2004-10-18 02:57 pm (UTC)Peace, Chuck
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Date: 2004-10-22 06:37 pm (UTC)i could tell you that im just some stranger who really can empathise for you...
i could tell you that i wish the best for both of you through out this struggle...
but i know you've heard it before. i'm sure you are still amazingly greatful for everyones support. i am sure you will prevail and show us all that through sorrow there is joy.
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Date: 2004-10-23 04:30 pm (UTC)Somewhere around the time of the Columbine shootings, I was taking a class in the psychology of death and dying. Someone in the class mentioned that they had posted condolences to the families on a website. I thought it was stupid--they didn't even know these people.
And now here I am, gathering so much support from people I don't even know.