Portrait

[zyzyly]

I was looking through some pictures of myself for someone eles's meme, and found this one.



It was the last picture Arlina took of me.

I remember the morning so well--it was six days before she died. We were up early--this was about 5:30 am. We took a bunch of pictures together--wearing all the different hats people had given her.



Of all the pictures we have together this is one of my favorites. I think it captures (as much as a picture can) the essence our relationship, in a single moment.

It amazes me that I can do this and be able to laugh instead of cry. Well, ok, I cried a little, but laughed more. I never would have guessed that grief would also bring little moments of joy.

Comments

[mylastsigh.livejournal.com]

how beautiful

[niyabinghi.livejournal.com]

That photo is definitely precious.

I never would have guessed that grief would also bring little moments of joy.

While this might sound odd, kudos to you on braving the grief, letting yourself feel whateve you feel. So often people turn to distraction, numbing out, etc. And then they miss out on being surprised, as you were, by those moments when peace or joy pop up.

[deedeebythebay.livejournal.com]

It was this last picture that brought me to your journal in the first place.

Today my husband and I are throwing a big party to celebrate our 20th anniversary, which was this past Wednesday.

This picture crossed my mind on Wednesday......and here it is again today. A reminder that love carries all burdens and shares all joys.

Thank you again for sharing it.

Love never fails

[myasma.livejournal.com]

Happy 20th anniversary!

[ilea.livejournal.com]

that picture is so beautiful

[greyfaced.livejournal.com]

what a beautiful photo.
my heart goes out to you.

comfort & joy

[jscottharris.livejournal.com]

The memory of those for whom we grieve will comfort us to the end of our own days, I think.

[ravenhart.livejournal.com]

the love in that picture transcends her death.

thank you so much for sharing that.

[daisydumont.livejournal.com]

thank you for posting these beautiful photos. i'm so glad you're finding flashes of joy along the way.

[vaysha.livejournal.com]

I remember those well particularly the second one- it's one of the most beautiful photos I've seen.
:)

[one4k4.livejournal.com]

So beautiful, both of the pics! That's a wonderful hat, by the way. :)

[pasticcio.livejournal.com]

You were so lucky to have those moments...
I love that second picture, too.. it speaks volumes of your love.
*hugs*

[anotherkelley.livejournal.com]

your picture brought me to tears. an image of beauty and peace and a true definition of love. thank you for sharing.

[tiwonge.livejournal.com]

Mom saw that picture earlier. Her comment to me was that when her mother died (almost 10 years ago now), she was debating whether or not to take pictures of her when she was frail and sickly, after going through chemo. In the end, she decided not to. After seeing that picture, and the power and simplicity and love of it, she regrets her decision.

[kappuchino.livejournal.com]

Haha. Made me cry a little. :) But it is amusing to think she had so many hats.

[filmsacramento.livejournal.com]

I love these.

[theodicy.livejournal.com]

There is joy, isn't there? The thing is, joy and happiness needn't go together, as you know...

Peace today, m'dear.

[poetbear.livejournal.com]

those are both most excellent
pictures, Mike!~paul

[malacia.livejournal.com]

how absolutely beautiful, and yes. you can see so much love in these pictures!

[etroutski.livejournal.com]

Thanks, Mike.

[firestartermsu.livejournal.com]

I have always loved this picture of you two. I'm so glad you can find moments of joy in all of this. That is what life really boils down to, right? -- moments of joy in the middle of all the muck.

[keatrix.livejournal.com]

I appreciate your sharing and openess.

[zhenzhi.livejournal.com]

:-) *thoughtful*

[langging.livejournal.com]

I thought that picture of you two was really sweet. :)

[iamdigitalis.livejournal.com]

Beautiful.

[bravencrazy.livejournal.com]

It's a wonderful picture.

A friend of mine is using online personal ads, without much success. Most of the ads include long laundry lists of what the individual absolutely must have in a mate, most of the requirements involving physical attributes like height, sometimes getting as detailed as hair color. Women do this as well as men.

Your picture represents the polar opposite of those trite ads. That is what marriage is supposed to be about, sharing your life with your spouse, with all the joys and sorrows it brings.

[myasma.livejournal.com]

I have a couple of female online friends who have told me that height is very important to them in a relationship, partly because it is important for them to look good toegether as a couple.

I thought about that the first time i posted this picture--about how when it came down to what marriage really means, something like height doesn't even make the list.

Occasionally my sarcastic side is tempted to lament, "If only I had been taller--none of this would have happened!"

[bravencrazy.livejournal.com]

While physical attraction is, of course, important to have in a relationship, some people go way overboard with it. Those same people then complain that "there aren't any good wo/men left out there!"

It's not so bad when it's someone in their teens or twenties thinking this way; I wasn't the deepest person at 25. But by the time you reach, oh, 30, you really should have learned that "looking good as a couple" shouldn't be at the top of your list of what makes a good mate. I always want to ask people like that what they would do if this hypothetical good-looking mate suffered an injury or illness that stripped them of their good looks.

Maybe Christopher Reeves' wife is an idiot for staying with a man she towered over once he was confined to a wheelchair. ???

When I look at this photo, I see a man looking at his beloved, her physical body ravaged by an unspeakable disease, and seeing nothing but the beautiful person inside that the disease was unable to destroy. That photo is incredibly moving; thanks for sharing it. It made me log off the computer and hug my husband. I can't be the only one who did that.

[mactavish.livejournal.com]

I love seeing shared happiness. :)

[hummingalong.livejournal.com]

So much love in ONE photo.


Peace to you.

[deeder55.livejournal.com]

This is the third time I've seen this picture posted and it still takes my breath away.

[lorelei-o.livejournal.com]

What I like most about that picture is the sparkly scarf. I have a strong asthetic sense for simple things like that - I have a purple purse with sparkly embroidery on it. Such a simple little thing, and it makes me smile and feel good to have it around.

I think I am well benefited to be able to find simple, silly joys in things like that. And I look at that picture, at her draped in something pretty and sparkly, and I see someone who could find small happinesses many, many places - which I think lends itself well to finding the grander happinesses we all want. I just think you're more likely to find one if you appreciate the other.

Such a wonderful photo, Mike, and such a kind thing to share with all of us.

[ahsu.livejournal.com]

I remember seeing the second photo before, and my reaction to it this time is the same as last time -- "I recognize that. I know that. That's what keeps me and smplmn married through all the tough stuff." And then I think how grateful I am every time I see that in someone else, too, because it's a real miracle.

[whipporwill.livejournal.com]

I remember this day too, Mike... and the photo. Thinking of you... and Arlina...

[hagweena.livejournal.com]

Very touching, thoughtful photo.