telephone

[zyzyly]

I got home last night, but am feeling itchy to be out there again already. There isn't much to come home to these days.

I went to bed early and had a succession of strange dreams, including one about a guy I know, whose legs were replaced by king crab legs. He didn't walk--he scuttled. He was kind of crabby about it too.

One of them was about Arlina. In the dream I was wandering around the house thinking that I hadn't talked to her in a long time. I said to myself, "We used to talk all the time, what happened?" It was like we had drifted apart.

I decided to call her, but couldn't find her phone number. I searched around for her friend's card, since I was sure she'd have Arlina's number. I found the card and picked up the phone, but as I was dialing, I remembered why we hadn't talked.

I still have her cell phone active. I kept it so I could call and hear her greeting message. But I never actually called until this morning. I forgot that she had me make her greeting message. It was my voice.

Comments

[chained2u2.livejournal.com]

I am sorry. You must have felt so let down when you answered. Continue to talk to her though.

[ms-priestypants.livejournal.com]

today would be a good day to run off to some mountaintop in India and transcend speaking or thinking for about five years, for me at least- you in?

[myasma.livejournal.com]

im in

[ms-priestypants.livejournal.com]

awesome:)
sorry to hear about your sad dreams. my old therapist used to tell me to pay attention when I could remember one, because it meant my psyche was processing while I wasn't around to get in the way. I was never quite sure what she meant, but it sounds clever, doesn't it?

[ms-priestypants.livejournal.com]

too bad- this kid totally beat us to it.

[myasma.livejournal.com]

Ive been where that kid is sitting.

[ex-muzer409.livejournal.com]

In "real life" or dreamtime?

Both!

[myasma.livejournal.com]

In real life--it's in Yosemite National Park, a scant 5 hours from my house.

[wordweaverlynn.livejournal.com]

That's -- there are no words.

(huge hugs) Remember, if you wander toward San Jose, I'd love to meet you.

[happy2beso.livejournal.com]

Ditto.

[greymeowsr.livejournal.com]

Interesting dreams indeed. I'm sorry in a way that you didn't get to hear her voice on the phone, but in another way I'm thinking, perhaps she was telling you through your dream sequence that you needed to make the call so you would know you don't need to keep the cell phone. yf, Tom

[theodicy.livejournal.com]

:hug:

Sigh.

[vereorc.livejournal.com]

She's alive in you. At least, that's how I read it.

[brendamom.livejournal.com]

When Dale died, he used to come to me in dreams. Sometimes I really got angry at him for not calling me on the phone. "I can't" he'd say. "Well then at least give me a hug," I'd beg. "I can't," he said, "Its against the rules."
That is all I know about that.

[ilea.livejournal.com]

Once when my mom was in the hospital for a long time when I was little I'd call the answering service to hear her voice.

*hugs*

When I was little my gradparents died and my mom was missing my grandma so I told her she could call 1-800-4heaven and ask god if she could speak to her.
If only that were true...

[waning-estrogen.livejournal.com]

I can relate to this.
I have grocery lists my father wrote.
just so I can see his handwriting.

[daisydumont.livejournal.com]

i forget whether you've written about whether you plan to keep the house. would a trip down the blue highways (as opposed to the highways you encountered so much traffic on) be doable? i long to do that.

[bluestars.livejournal.com]

i feel like crying reading that. we dont even know each other and i rarely even comment but the emotion of that just struck me so hard! i used to have very vivid dreams about my grandma right after she died. in them i would know i was asleep (lucid dreaming) and sometimes when i would see her we would both be sad because we knew it wasnt real. i hate death, its unavoidable and scarey and unknown.

[carocrow.livejournal.com]

It seems like you are beginning to heal, and I know that sounds strange.

I don't think you ever have to worry that you are drifting apart. Love doesn't know those kinds of boundaries. Keep talking to her... you don't need the phone.

[vaysha.livejournal.com]

Oh M,
It's like a message that she's in you now, in the fabric and weave of your being and that her voice is your voice.
I am thinking of you and hoping you can scratch that itch and be out on the road again soon.
Will you be home long enough for me to send you a cd do you think? Something to listen to on long drives?

[jackiejj.livejournal.com]

Your very quiet, spare writing--

This love story needs a book, I think.

[phoenixrisen.livejournal.com]

Ohhhhhh....

*hugs* from a stranger, if you want them.

[pumpkin-pie-m.livejournal.com]

I can totally relate.

Thought I would say hi. vaysha suggested that I swing by here and add you. Mind if I do? I think we're experiencing much of the same emotions, although you are much more eloquent and tactful than I. ;-)