Promised Land

There's a dark cloud rising from the desert floor
I packed my bags and I'm heading straight into the storm
Gonna be a twister to blow everything down
That ain't got the faith to stand its ground
Blow away the dreams that tear you apart
Blow away the dreams that break your heart
Blow away the lies that leave you nothing but lost and brokenhearted.

Well the dogs on main street howl
'cause they understand
If I could take one moment into my hands
Mister I ain't a boy
No, I'm a man
And I believe in a Promised Land.

--bruce springsteen

hospital day whatever

I'm home for a while to finish the laundry and make sure the cats don't feel abandoned. I don't think they really care, as long as there is food.

Arlina is doing well. It looks like we have come close to the right dose of medication to keep her comfortable--she hasn't needed an extra dose all day. It's about 20 times the normal dose--if you or I got it, we would probably stop breathing and fall over, but Arlina just keeps going--puttering around the hospital room straightening things up, and offering me advice on how I should manage our finances. She finally gave up and made me bring in the checkbook and bills.

When she saw the radiation oncologist yesterday, he laid out a plan for therapy that was supposed to start later in the week. He told us it took time to plan, and he needed to schedule for that, but not to worry--the report didn't indicate any spinal cord involvement, so there was no rush. He is a nice guy who took pains to put us at ease--he's the same doctor who planned my dad's gamma knife procedure a few years ago.

A few minutes later he came back into the room, slightly agitated, and told us that the final MRI report was not the same as the one he had been talking about. There was cord involvement--the tumor was compressing the spinal cord--yikes!

All of a sudden there was this flurry of activity--compression of the spinal cord is one of those things that constitute a real emergency--let it go and you have a patient with paralysis. But they knew what to do and they did it well.

They gave her some decadron, a steroid that helps decrease swelling, then whisked her away for a quick planning session and her first radiation therapy treatment. she had the second today. The radiation itself takes about three minutes total. Very few side effects.

I think they are going to do radiation for about 2 weeks. After that, I think we will probably revisit the chemo regimen question. I'm hoping she can come home in a day or two. Once they have a good handle on her pain control needs, they can send her home on a pump with a home health nurse to maintain it.

A couple of the filipino nurses brought her food tonight--fish heads and stuff. They really take good care of her. That's why she feels comfortable letting me come home for the night--the filipinos will watch over her.

We are doing ok, surrounded by love and support. It's a beautiful thing.