56021--deep in my heart there's a house that can hold almost all of you

[zyzyly]

I went to see the therapist after taking a month off for the holidays. The first thing I told her was that I thought I would take some more time off, since I didn't have any pressing issues to work on. She agreed and asked what I wanted to talk about. I launched into a story about a patient I talked to the other evening, while waiting for one of my students to do something. She was in her 40's, and had already had all sorts of medical issues befall her. Last January her 14 year-old son was killed by an impaired driver. Shortly after that she was diagnosed with cancer. She had been in the hospital for the past three weeks and wanted to go home. She couldn't, because she was unable to eat, and the insurance wouldn't cover home IV nutrition.

I told the therapist that it reminded me of the biblical story of Job. Job was the victim of a bet between God and the Devil. One time I had to preach on that story, and I said that even though God gave a new family and stuff to Job, it wasn't like he had his old family back. There was a hole that would never be filled.

I don't think it was particularly effective preaching, but it told the truth.

I told my therapist about the boxes under my desk. She suggested that maybe it was time to open them and see what was inside. "Maybe make it a photo project," she added. She's an art therapist, so understands the significance of capturing what you're feeling.


There are two boxes under my desk. On one is written, "open Mar 07". Neither have been opened since march of 2005. Sounds like a project.

I can't just leave you with a picture of a box, so here's something from Yosemite.


It's a nice shot, but doesn't really tell you much about what I am thinking.

Comments

[jadeejf.livejournal.com]

I like the way you preached about that story- I heard it over and over again growing up, but always in the "Praise God Always" variations on a theme, and often thought to myself that, sure Job was a great and righteous man, but that really sucked, and many blessings don't replace the blessings that you've lost. I don't think people hear that version of it enough, but that's the part that always stuck out like a sore thumb and got glossed over.

I remember my parents having a conversation once at a restaurant where my dad mentioned that his mother (who had eight children) had lost one of his siblings when he was a kid- pneumonia, I think? And my mom thought that it would be some comfort that she had so many other kids- and I suppose that was true, in its way; certainly true to my mom who couldn't have any children of her own and I know all about that myopia- but my dad kept telling her that it's not like he and his living brothers and sisters could replace the baby that died.

Okay, /cool story, bro. Sorry. I am all sorts of random lately :P

[zyzyly.livejournal.com]

there's a number of those Bible stories that I started to really wonder about as I was preaching them. The other one that stands out is the story of Abraham and Issac.

I like random!

[jadeejf.livejournal.com]

Have you heard the song "Abraham's Daughter" by Arcade Fire? I listened to it for such a long time- it was a fascinating re-imagining of that whole story.

[zyzyly.livejournal.com]

I just downloaded the song. I'll let you know later what I think.